25. Almost 30 weeks along.

I never thought I would stop writing here when I ended up getting pregnant. I thought I would use my blog as the place where I could get things off of my chest and document my beautiful journey. Little did I know that life would get busy, and getting up off the couch to grab the laptop would feel like too much work. I didn’t expect to be this tired, or sore, or busy.

I am almost 30 weeks along with our twins. We found out 2 days after our wedding that we were having 2 GIRLS! In that moment, this whole thing became real – this growing bump felt more precious and it was as if we knew our babies so much better.

I always dreamed of having a daughter. I never imagined that life could bless me with two, let alone two at the same time. But in 8 weeks our girls will be here, I will finally get to look at their faces and and hold their little hands. I will be able to kiss them good night and tell them that every hard moment along this journey was well worth it because it gave us them. I can’t wait to know them and watch them grow up.

I will try to find more time for this blog as time continues. I will try to document their first years. But for now, I will save every ounce of energy that I have.

This has been a wild roller coaster, so many ups and so many downs. Getting pregnant with these girls has been the biggest “up” of my life, and even when they kick me so hard in the ribs that I feel like I am going to fall over…. this roller coaster keeps travelling upwards.

Up, up and away.



24. Pregnancy Announcement

Baby Announcement

We posted this picture on our social media pages with the caption “Our family is growing by 4 feet in May”. Needless to say, we were overwhelmed with the response. All of the love that was sent our way was such a wonderful feeling. And now this all feels so real.

My tummy is growing away. I really thought I would be able to hide my pregnancy for a while longer, but these babies have a plan of their own. I have quite the baby bump now, which makes me smile every time I look in the mirror. There are my babies, growing and developing and every single day we get closer and closer to meeting them.

What will they look like? Will they like hockey as much as we do? And if they do, will they cheer for the Leafs or will there be a team rivalry in the house? What will their voices sound like? What will they find funny? Who will they grow up to be? How can we love them more than we already do?

So many questions floating around. I think about them constantly. In normal every day situations, I imagine them here… sitting on the couch at my parent’s, watching the game… baking cookies in the kitchen…. decorating the Christmas tree…. taking the dog for a walk. They will enhance every moment of our lives, and even the normal moments will seem extraordinary because they will be here.

This has been our dream for what feels like forever, and now we are months away from watching it come true. Our two miracles coming into this world.

I’m just on cloud 9 over here.


23. Planning a Wedding and preparing for babies!

We set a wedding date. To be honest we almost completely planned a wedding in a few days. On Thursday my Mom and Dad had us over for dinner, they would really like to see us married before the babies come, so they are willing to help out with the financial part of the wedding. To be honest, we have always wanted to be legally married before the babies were born and then have a reception when they are about 6 months old, but as soon as my Mom mentioned a wedding I couldn’t help but think of how amazing it will feel to call Tiff my wife, and to celebrate with our friends and family. So we put together a guest list, and each of us had a task for the next day (venues to call etc.)

On Saturday we visited the venue that we decided to go with for the reception, its a nice space with lots of windows! Then we booked the ceremony venue – which is actually the same place that Tiff and I went on our first date, so that’s pretty special! Then later Saturday night we created and ordered invitations!!

On Tuesday we booked the photographer. She was recommended by a good friend and her photos are beautiful!

On Wednesday the invitations came in the mail – they will be addressed and sent out in the next few days!

On Saturday we are going out looking for dresses, which will be interesting since I will have quite the belly by then.

I am so beyond happy. I cant wait to marry this woman, she is my perfect match and she makes my world brighter!

Today we got to see our babies. They are amazing, I could watch those little hearts beating forever. I can’t wait to meet them and fall even further into love with them.

My life is wonderful right now. This may be the happiest that I have ever been. 2018 is going to be our year. Starting it out with a wedding (January 6) and then adding 2 peanuts to the family in May. Could I ask for more?

Just smiling ear to ear.


22. Nine Weeks

I have been quiet on here lately, I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I feel tired and nauseous all the time. I just have no energy for much after I am home from work. People always talk about the fatigue and morning sickness in the first few months of pregnancy, and I swear I underestimated how intense it could really get.

We have still been taking our weekly photo with a fruit or veggie that shows the twin’s size. This week we are at the “cherry” size. It is crazy to think our little babies are already that big, they have little hands and feet and their facial features are becoming more defined. We had another ultrasound last week, and it was amazing to see how much they had grown and how much stronger their sweet heartbeats were.

I am already showing. This isn’t much of a surprise to me, since everyone that has had twins told me that I can expect to start showing about a month earlier than I would with a singleton pregnancy. Maybe Tiff and I are the only ones who notice, but I swear my shirts hug my tummy a little tighter and stretchy pants feel so much more comfortable. I am excited for 3 weeks from now, when I get to start telling people and feeling less self-conscious about my growing belly.

We are still wrapping our heads around the fact that we are having twins. Two babies. We know that we are being blessed twice over, but we are still a little nervous about everything. Caring for one baby is stressful and amazing and overwhelming and beautiful…. caring for two babies will be so much more. But I wouldn’t have it any other way, these babies are going to be the most wonderful gift.

Back to day-dreaming about baby names.


21. DOUBLE the love

Today we had our 6 week 4 day ultrasound and it went better than I ever could have dreamed. 

As the technician was doing the ultrasound and taking the pictures she said casually “remember when you were told that you had a higher chance of twins? Well you’re having twins”

My mind went to a million different places, but it kept coming back to “we have 2 babies in my tummy and I already love them so much”. I haven’t stopped smiling since we got the news. We got to see their little heartbeats, and my whole heart filled with joy and love.

When I got up I looked at Tiff and she was crying. I think it was a mix of “omg we’re having two babies” and “how are we going to pay for two babies?” and “I already love them so much”. But when I looked at her, all I could see was her holding our sweet babies, rocking them slowly, kissing their foreheads and being the best damn mother in the world. I can’t wait to raise our children together, it will be the greatest joy of my life. 

So now I have to let it sink in. I think it is, slowly but surely. I am going to be a mother. I am going to be a mother to two babies at once. I have never been so happy.

Filled with love!


20. Thankful

This weekend was Canadian Thanksgiving. I was able to spend the weekend doing everything I love with all of my favourite people. 

On Friday my sister, Nicole, and I baked cookies for Thanksgiving day. She is my “person”, the one who I call to share my news (no matter if it is good or bad) and the person who knows me better than anyone. I loved having a sister day, laughing and talking about our plans for the future.

On Saturday my sister, mom, aunt, Tiff and myself all went to the local Thanksgiving craft show. There are hundreds of vendors selling cute little homemade items, so we bought some Christmas decorations for the house! 

Sunday was our Thanksgiving celebration. On our way to dinner we stopped to take our photo for week 6 – with a sweet pea! Unfortunately I felt nauseous all day but I made the best of it! My parents put on the most amazing holiday dinners, there is always more food than you can even imagine and it’s so good that I ate a full plate even though I didn’t feel well. After dinner we took a walk to the park looking over Lake Ontario and watched the sunset, the sky was the brightest red I have seen it in a long time. 

Thanksgiving is one of my favourite holidays. It is so special to be able to actually take time to think about all of the blessings that we all have in our lives. Some days are harder than others, but in the end I have so much to be thankful for! This year was especially meaningful, knowing that I finally have a little life growing inside of me and we are one step closer to being parents. Next Thanksgiving I will have a beautiful baby in my arms, and I will have even more to be thankful for! 

Forever Grateful!


19. Silence

I have been so quiet on here lately. I am feeling such a mix of emotions, it is so hard to put them into words. On one hand I am over joyed – a positive pregnancy test was all that I could have hoped for this month. On the other hand I am hesitant to be too happy. I know how early in my pregnancy it is, and there is no guarantee that it will stick and continue to develop. I hate this feeling of unease, not being 100% sure. 

I just want it to be a few months down the road so that I can relax a little bit and start to plan for this little life growing inside of me. 

For now, I’ll keep my fingers crossed and keep myself as healthy as possible. This baby will bring so much joy to my life! 

My pregnancy app says that baby is the size of an Appleseed this week! So we took a family pic with an Appleseed to track the baby’s growth! Hopefully we get to take countless more photos with different fruits and veggies to track the growth! 


16. The Perfect Weekend

I honestly don’t know how to start this post without all of my happiness and joy spilling out and making absolutely no sense. I will start with Saturday morning. 

On Saturday September 9, I turned 30. I woke up snuggled in bed with Tiff and the dog and sunshine beaming through the blinds. I opened my beautiful card from Tiff and all the perfect gifts that she got me. 

We got in the car and headed to the fertility clinic. Most people wouldn’t consider blood work and an ultrasound to be the best way to spend their birthday, but I was happy to. I was even happier when our wonderful doctor told us that he would like to do our trigger shot right then and there so that we could inseminate the next day. I just have to take a second to say that this was HUGE news for us because up until now, we haven’t had any follicles grow during any cycle. This cycle we had 2 good follicles! 

When we got home Tiff took me (blindfolded) to my sister’s house where my entire family and a group of friends were waiting to surprise me with a games day! We played fun outdoor games for hours, ate my favourite cake and laughed till it hurt! 

This morning I woke up way before my alarm with a smile across my face. Today would be our first real shot at having a baby!! (Okay my eyes might be welling up with tears right now)

The insemination was significantly less painful, long and awkward than I had imagined. Tiff held my hand and looked me in the eyes the whole time. We both gave my tummy a little rub as I laid there, just sending some love inside! 

I can’t even begin to wrap my head around this situation. I know that there are no guarantees and our chances of getting pregnant on our first try are not great, but everything seemed so perfect. It felt like the stars were aligning. 

So now we wait and pray and hope (and give some words of encouragement to my belly). 

Come on little one! 

Now here are some photos of my perfect weekend! 

^Saturday after our appointment.

^My wonderful momma giving me my cake 

^My sister, my dad and I

^Me and my cake

^My sister, Tiff, Grandpa and I

^This morning in the car on the way to the clinic

^About 30 seconds before insemination 

15. The light.

Today I had my first extremely positive appointment. It is day 13 so I went for my routine bloodwork and ultrasound. I have done this a million times. I know which parts of my arm give blood the easiest, I know the ultrasound technicians by name (and even have a few favourites), I know the song and dance now. But today was different for me. The first thing that was different was that I was there alone. Up until now, Tiffany has been able to get the time to attend all of the appointments with me. So I did the (1 hour) drive alone and sat quietly in the waiting room. When it came time for my ultrasound I heard the voice of my favourite technician calling my name. As she was doing the scan, I saw the smile come across her face. She has been there for so many negative appointments, it felt so good to hear the good news from her. On the right side I have an 11mm follicle and on the left side I have a 12mm follicle and a 15mm follicle! I have never had anything grow larger than 10mm so this was the most amazing thing to hear! She was so sweet and printed a copy of the photo of the 15mm follicle for me to give to Tiffany! The doctor said that he is going to watch them closely because he doesn’t want to inseminate if we have more than 2 good follicles because it would put us at risk for multiples.

I sent Tiff a picture of the follicle and then quickly called her and asked he to look at the picture that I sent her. We laughed and cried (happy tears) for a while. (I was so distracted with happiness that I accidentally got onto the highway going the wrong way in rush hour traffic). Then I called my mom, I have never heard her squeal like that! She told me to send her the photo of my 15mm and she told me that it was the most beautiful follicle she had ever seen.

I don’t want to get ahead of myself here, but I do want to allow myself today to be happy and breath a sigh of relief. I was starting to doubt my own body. I was beginning to think that I may never be able to bear a child. But today instilled a new sense of hope in me. The doctors found the right combination and dose of medications for me, so now they will be able to stimulate follicles again (if this month isn’t our month).

We go back tomorrow morning (Tiff gets the time off) and then Saturday is my 30th birthday! We will probably have another appointment on my birthday, but if my follicles keep growing and things are looking good, I can’t think of a better birthday gift. I think I have to thank the universe for this one, and each person who sent prayers, thoughts and positive vibes my way.

There’s a light at the end of this long dark tunnel, and I think I just caught a glimpse of it.